Book Review: Albatross

Warning: Spoilers abundant.

Albatross is a 2019 fictional novel by Canadian author Terry Fallis that focuses on wannabe-writer Adam Coryell (Terry Fallis doing his best to "write what you know"). Unfortunately for Adam, he has to put his passion on hold when he discovers he has a body perfectly suited to playing golf.

We are introduced to Coryell as a high school student who's primary focus revolves around two things: (1) writing and (2) his high school girlfriend named Allison (who will be referred to as Ali for the remainder of this post). Ali, it turns out, likes writing and...fountain pens and ink (?) just as much as Adam does. How perfect! We catch Ali and Adam in the honeymoon phase of their budding high school relationship, that involves very little stress and a lot of butterflies. Good stuff, true romantic comedy vibes, yet the minimal adversity observed in their relationship is a theme that bucks it's head throughout the story. More on that later.

Fate for our protagonist strikes when Coryell meets high school teacher Roberta "Bobbie" Davenport, who is teaching him both physical education and creative writing. Bobbie asks Coryell to stay after class to take his measurements (arms, fingers, calfs, etc.) to determine his Gunnarsson-Score. We learn that the metric is a measure of a person's innate suitability towards any sport and is born out of research done by Swedish professor of the name. Davenport makes the discovery that Adam Coryell has a Gunnarsson-Score in the 99th percentile! The sport? Golf.

Soon after the inciting incident, Adam starts on his path of becoming a dominant force in competitive golf, with the help of Bobbie Davenport, who just happens to be an accomplished golfer herself. Without having to work at the game, save for putting, Adam excels in golf, first in high school, then at the collegiate level at Stanford (he and Ali break up because of the distance- tough scene), and finally as a professional. In each of these stages, he states how he is unhappy as a golfer and doesn't really have autonomy over how he plays golf; he just has to not think about anything and let his perfect body do the work. Despite his lament, Adam plays golf for 8 years, 4 of which are at the professional level, before he retires. Over the course of his career, he wins with regularity and only seems to lose when he engages in self sabotage. He makes millions of dollars which enable him to live comfortably and explore other passions, including writing. The meat of the book involves very little controversy or hardship.

Herein lies the issue with the golf: a lack of adversity, and I mean real adversity that real people deal with. Adam and Ali break up, but we don't really get much of the protagonists' feelings through this time. There is definitely adversity when Adam's mentor and caddy, Bobbie Davenport sacrifices her life for Adam by TACKLING THEIR KIDNAPPER OFF THE ROOF OF THE BURJ AL ARAB WHEREIN THEY FALL TO THEIR DEATH. Has anything like this ever happened?

Even after this event, Adam still dominates pro golf and wins Olympic Gold, to accompany his several other wins. After retiring, he then seeks out his old girlfriend, whom he never really got over, and they get back together. Turns out she never got over him either and they wrote each other a bunch of letter but never. even. sent them. Great romance device right there. I actually dig it.

We learn that Ali is enrolled in a Master's program at the U of T, and Adam's all signed up too. He's finally going to be a writer! Gee golly! Just like back in high school, Ali is still a naturally gifted writer, while Adam needs to grind at his craft. Under nom de plume "Wilson MacGregor" (barf), he plumes a collection of short stories and get's in with a small publisher out of Peterborough, Ontario (that can't be good). Ali, meanwhile, signs a major book deal and her first novel is doing extremely well. Adam, though, does not seem to be at all jealous of his gf, nor does he have any unbecoming feelings whatsoever. Again, no adversity, untied from reality. He and Ali never fight and Ali, like several other characters including Adam's parents and agent, doesn't have any distinguishing characteristics or personality traits. They are all there to serve Coryell and there is never any bad blood.

I think I've got it now.

The book is all meta. The narrator is Adam Coryell, whom we know to be, frankly, a lackluster writer (as per his high school teacher, university professors and creative writing colleagues). There is reference while in his Masters program that all his characters sound the same. I'm only realizing this now, but it seems like Albatross must be his own biography(?). And it seems Adam has not grown much as a writer. There's mention of Adam hating clichés because "he's a writer," but the whole book is a cliché (see perfect relationships, breakup followed by a reconciliation, letter writing, the struggling artist trope). Even the title, Albatross, has that double meaning so cute and obvious to anyone with some knowledge of golf (Albatross, of course means a burden bestowed OR -3 on one golf hole). The title, like the book, is just a bit much, a bit too on the nose.

Here's what I learned you do if you don't want to put in the work for your next novel:

Step 1: Write a book with a crazy-ass make-believe story but have the protagonist want to be a writer.

Step 2: Have your wannabe-writer protagonist tell an interesting story in the most uninteresting way. This will allow you to sell books based on your name recognition and an interesting concept, while keeping your effort level at a minimum. You've gamed the system perfectly.

Everything just always seemed to work out too well for old Adam and I did not find it satisfying. I can understand how someone would find the book enjoyable because it wraps up so perfectly; it's a great escape. I just wanted something more real, while keeping the Gunnarsson-score concept. Also, for the record, I really wish Adam could have been gifted in tennis or squash or hockey. There were so many cheap shots taken at golf throughout the book...

JK.

BUT, it was such low hanging fruit and I felt Fallis was writing all that for all the archetypal shrew wives and girlfriends of men who like playing the game. In other words, for all the people who truly do not understand.

Parting thoughts (shots)

There is mention of Rickie Fowler in the context of Adam's swing and how it's so perfect, so natural, just like Rickie; Rickie Fowler is not cool- he's just white corporate America's idea of cool, and you fell for it Terry Fallis. You fell hard.